WEARING A NEW PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS FOR THE FIRST TIME
Please love your pets because their lives are short and they’ve seen you naked or having sex or masturbating or all three and they still love you.
listen, i’m never going to let you use my laptop idk what exactly i have to hide but i’m 200% sure there’s something
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job